i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
