dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
