the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
