pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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