Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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