come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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