I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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