sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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