this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You made out with two different species that night
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
this is an emotional support booty call
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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