I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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