Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
