It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
