im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
