I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
