I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
