you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
