I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
