Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
