When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
