note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
