Well apparently he's into motor boating.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
