I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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