tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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