Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
