yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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