I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
