I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
