everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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