if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
