the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
