i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
