This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
