They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
