the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I am available for nakedness
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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