oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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