I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
