YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
