this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
