i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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