Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
4 words: hood of his car
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
