It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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