Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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