try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
