how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
