that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
