can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
