I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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