It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
