thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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