farters have to be the big spoon...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
