around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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