This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
