Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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