Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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